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Cristina Martínez, psychologist: "Couples who argue are the ones who love each other the most; those who keep quiet about everything break up."

Cristina Martínez, psychologist: "Couples who argue are the ones who love each other the most; those who keep quiet about everything break up."

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It's important to know how to say things, but also to listen to what the other person has to say. Photo: iStock / Instagram

Every relationship is unique. For this reason, there's no magic formula for a successful and lasting relationship; however, there are guidelines or signs that reveal what's being done well and what shouldn't be maintained.
Having opposing opinions or not understanding each other on certain occasions shouldn't be seen as a bad thing. It's important to remember that there are two different personalities involved, and they clash daily.
For psychologist Cristina Martínez, arguing isn't a warning sign, but rather, it reveals the presence of significant affection. According to her, this is because arguing is an opportunity "to understand each other better."
Staying silent to avoid conflict or taking away the opportunity to consider each other's ideas and thoughts is "dooming oneself to failure," as Martínez explains.

It's important to find physical and temporal spaces to discuss the good and the bad. Photo: iStock

To avoid confusion, the psychologist addresses what an argument means and what it means to have a conflict. Cristina starts from the idea that these two concepts are not the same.
In this sense, he recommends that whenever there is a disagreement, people choose to discuss it rather than create spaces for conflict, as this will change the course of the problem.
"Arguing is sharing your ideas and needs in a respectful manner. Fighting, on the other hand, is imposing one point of view and invalidating the other's, entering into a war in which both will lose," he asserts.
  • Stay calm when faced with a trigger.
  • Find a respectful way to start the conversation.
  • Listen with empathy.
  • Do not interrupt.
  • Promote agreements.
If you follow these steps to the letter, one of the pillars of the relationship will be preserved. This idea means that mutual communication will take precedence over individual interests.
"In an argument, it's not about winning, it's about finding a solution." Therefore, it's important to let go of egos, prejudices, or deeply held ideas, be clear, and pay attention to what the other person is trying to express.

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